…Tristan.
Barnacle is his name and he is a proud owner of that name, alright? As his mother you’ve got to accept him as he is, embrace his true self, come now. It’s good practice for the future, yeah? I saw Gecko the other day you know, babies grow so quickly, it’s so weird. How many kids do we want? I’ve never asked if you want a boy or a girl. Do you want a boy or a girl?
…I accept nothing. That is not his true self that is his drunken father’s eccentric naming tendencies. Gecko? How is he? Yes. Babies grow, it’s called life and you cannot seriously be asking me this question..? It doesn’t matter for the record. What does, is that you’ve been ingesting something. Drugs, alcohol, energy drinks? Spill? You’re about as loopy as a roller coaster and amanda bynes thrown together right now.
…Tristan.
HE DOES THOUGH! It’s all shiny and soft and smooth. I think that shampoo my grandmother got him has something to do with this?? Or maybe it’s just his flawless genes, I mean, royalty and all.
..Sometimes I almost regret getting you Bar-I refuse to call him that. He needs a proper name-but irregardless his fur is looking better. I think it’s your grandmas influence. Still no drugs before midnight. You seem trippy enough without the 4/20 help. 
…Tristan.
No drugs before getting on the computer. You know the rules darling. “Flawless Royal fur” …God.
Blair: Oh.. I thought I saw some sort of disturbance on the dash.. sure love. have a good night. I knew I was going to get buttered up by the way- but for the record. I don't mind you..doing that. It's whatever baby. Glad you called though. Wake me when you get in bed, yeah?
Blair: {Chuckles} ..Why do I feel like I'm about to be buttered up?
Blair: {Picks up} Hey babe..
